The Queen of Rejection™ communication coach - speaker - psychotherapist - author
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Breathing Room | Don't Take It Personally | Articles

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The Queen of Rejection®

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Don't Take It Personally!

Don't Take It Personally!®

The Art of Dealing with Rejection

Introduction: Sometimes You Don't Even Know What Hit You

  • Take It Seriously but Not Personally
  • Reweave Your Tapestry of Experiences
  • How to Use This Book

Part One: Zeroing In on the Problem

1 Maybe I Can't Name It, but I Know It When I Feel It
The Many Faces of Rejection

  • Alex's Story/Louisa's Story/Gene and Maureen's Story
  • Different Strokes for Different Folks
  • Who's Responsible Here?
  • It Might Be Time to Readjust Your Emotional Filter
  • It Just Isn't Fair!
  • Don't Judge Me

2 I Wouldn't Talk to Someone Else the Way I Talk to Myself
Self-Rejecting Messages

  • I'd Like Myself Better If I Could Just Be Someone Else
  • Do You Listen to the Things You Tell Yourself?

3 Tiptoeing through Minefields
Communication Breakdowns

  • Trading Roles
  • A Matter of Upbringing
  • Acting Out
  • Did They Really Mean What You Think They Said?
  • How to Check Things Out with Someone

4 If You Care About Me, You'll Read My Mind
Expectations and Disappointments

  • Repeating Patterns Can Get Tiresome
  • Scratch the Surface of Complaining and What Do You Find?
  • Do You Expect Too Much of Others?
  • Do You Expect Too Much of Yourself?

5 I Never Want to Be Hurt Like That Again
Avoiding the Pain

  • Expecting the Pain
  • Taking Pains to Avoid the Pain

Part Two: Identifying Those Old Hurts

6 You're More Trouble Than You're Worth
Subtle and Not So Subtle Messages

  • Fear, Anxiety, and Rejection
  • Parental Inaction
  • The Psychological Effects of Abuse
  • Identifying Your Childhood Messages

7 Grandma Passes Down More Than Just Her China
Cultural and Generational Messages

  • The Cyclical (and Reciprocal) Nature of Rejection
  • Good Kid/Bad Kid
  • The Messages Resonate

8 Eating the Leftovers
The Power of Mealtime Messages

  • Pass the Rejection, Please
  • Mealtime Sketches
  • Mealtime Revisited

9 Friends Today, Gone Tomorrow
Peer Rejection Messages

  • Discrimination Has Lots of Faces
  • When the Table Turn: From Bully to Victim
  • Sibling Skirmishes
  • A Beacon of Light

Part Three: Making Changes, Moving On

10 Keeping One Foot In and One Foot Out
Learning to Depersonalize Messages

  • Resilience
  • All About Me

11 Just Who Do You Think You Are?
Keeping Boundaries Clean and Clear

  • Boundary Rules
  • Boundary Confusion
  • Boundary Skills
  • Boundaries and Sex
  • Boundary Boosters

12 Emptiness Is Just Space, It Need Not Be Painful
Needs versus Neediness

  • Empty Spaces: To Fill or Not to Fill
  • " Go Away a Little Closer"

13 You Mean I Really Have a Choice Here?
Learning about Options

  • Choose and Lose
  • Choose to Change
  • Piecing Together the Pieces

14 I'm Gonna Hone My Imperfections!
Turning Stumbling Blocks into Building Blocks

  • Transforming Self-Rejection into Self-Acceptance




The Queen of Rejection™